These days it isn’t safe to walk anywhere without people trying to sell you something. If I see a lanyard and a clipboard, I gulp. They usually come in pairs, these lanyard wearing clipboard holders. Covering the left and right, trying to catch pedestrians. There’s the over-complimentary theatrical type who tell you what a great smile you have. The British backpackers. Young, earnest types that stumble a little over the script.

The trick is to not engage whatsoever. Once you press play on the spiel, there’s no turning back. It’s impossible to hear about children dying in war ravaged countries and refuse to help. Especially when you are in shopping mall and you’re not exactly buying survival essentials.

In theory I am all for regular charity contributions, and our family is signed up to quite a few. A lot. Which is why I now cross the street to avoid them. It’s also the reason why I got rid of our home phone. I have a problem saying no, even to telemarketers.

Now I am angry at myself for getting caught in the ultimate sucker trap. Getting talked into regular charity donations is hardly ignoble…it’s just a little tough on the family budget. But signing up for a ludicrously overpriced consumer gimmick is another story.  I have an escape plan and I’ll be using it after the first week…but for now I am a member of “Hello Fresh”. They got me in Greenwood Plaza, North Sydney. I might have been safer in Marrickville Metro, but on the North Shore they expect shoppers to have more money and so they’ll have a crack at anything. How about $109 a week to have the ingredients for 3 Vegetarian Meals delivered to your door? Ingredients – not meals. You still have to do the cooking.

Sometimes I feel like I’m walking around with a sign on my back that says “Direct Debit Me”