The Fifth Limb

I’m feeling a bit like Jake The Peg if he lost his third leg. Something vital is missing and yet I can feel phantom traces of it.

Yesterday I lost my phone.

It’s coming back – hallelujah! Somebody found it! – but I am coming up to my 24th hour without it. Life feels strangely different without a phone. It does feel like something vital to my personage is missing. I feel as though I am letting people down (What if someone texts me and they think I don’t want to answer them?). I feel completely disconnected from information that I need (like the time for instance) but most of all, I feel as though I have lost my default state of engagement.

Whenever I have a spare nanosecond, I check my phone. I check it for texts. I check it for Instagram. I check it for emails. I check just to see that it’s still there. Countless times yesterday I caught myself reflexively reaching out for thin air. My hand works involuntarily – it reaches for my phone just for the reassurance of touching it. When I’m walking I pat my bag for the reassurance of knowing it’s in there.

Last night I was at the pub with Jessicat. When she got up to go to the bar, I immediately reached for my phantom phone. Default state of engagement. With no friend to talk to, I was going to play with my phone, hang out with it for a bit. Once I got used to it, I found it strangely liberating. My default state of engagement could now be reflecting and thinking.

Jake_The_Peg

Danger walked past and read the title of this post. He said “Fifth Limb? Isn’t that a penis?”. My iPhone is my Penis. Very Freudian.

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